User blog:FlamingoValdez/Layton Reviews.
REQUESTS ARE CLOSED. SORRY! Like The Extreme Reviews (hope you don't mind, Extreme), this is a blog post where I will store my reviews of the fanfiction stories I read here in the wiki site. Though, I'm going to try a different approach. The purpose of this is to help the writers of the wiki improve their writing skills, give constructive criticism, tell what's wrong with their stories, and learn techniques as well. I'll try very hard not be harsh in a review for your story. Heck, I'm not even a beta-reader (I wish I am, though)! But you'll learn a lot from them, trust me. But if I see something that can make a normal reader uneasy, I'll point it out politely, and maybe hand out some tips in improving it. Now where was I? Oh yeah. You can also request your story to be reviewed down at the comment section. What are you waiting for? Post your story links, sit back, and wait for the review. And Please don't take this personally. WARNING: REVIEWS MAY BE A BIT HARSH. BRACE YOURSELVES. Next Gen Fanfiction Children of Heroes: The Son of Rhea The First book of the "Children of Heroes" series, written by JJRawesome. It tells the story of Ryan Jackson, Percy and Annabeth's son. I have to admit, I've seen children of Percy and Annabeth stories around the fandom, but having a male kid as their son is actually pretty cool (and rare). I don't know if the canon is based off the original books (and the Riordan's Word of God), but there are things that needed improvement. Right, time for the CC. Plotline: The plot is very interesting for me. It's fast-paced and straight to the point. The prophecy is sounds cool. The title cards are funny too, and the applied humor as well. The monsters are good too. But it felt like it is rushed. The battles/fights end fairly quick. The plot reminds me of the whole plot in The Lightning Thief and The Titan's Curse, though if you are pulling an "history repeats itself" stunt, then okay. Characters: Err, I would have to boldly say that the characters are bit of a problem here. Some of the characters, particularly the canon characters, have a little bit of problem. And then there are the original characters. There are a load of them in the story, which is fine. They aren't too many Mary Sues or Marty Stus but they aren't introduced properly in the story. The relationships between the characters developed really quick without notifications. Ryan has a bit of a Marty Stu inside of him, but nothing really bad. Writing and Construction: It needs a bit of improvement. The opening sentence/catchphrase isn't catchy, but it did caught my eye. The Pacing of the story is fast, extremely fast. The style doesn't have much drama. There are typos in the story, but nothing disastrous. The chapters are short and lacks a a couple of details. Yes, Ryan is the son of the Great Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase, but still...can't he just react a bit about all those things happening to him, just like when Percy first discovered he was a demigod? A little bit of character from him? Plus, the narration is straight to the point, no breaks. The only problem you have here is characterization. Overall: 'Despite that the story looking like rush work, I think it's still good and it kept me well entertained until the end of the story. It's not the best fanfiction I've read, but it is ''definitely not the worst fanfiction I have encountered. It's a decent read. There's one thing I would have to say: "When's the next book coming out?" '''Tips: Here's the tips lane! Right, to help you improve the story and your writing, keep these in mind: 1.) If you're going to make an original character, carefully build them. Keep a good balance to their personalities and traits. Give them something to relate to with the readers, give them life. You should check out dnrl's Guide to Original Characters, probably the most helpful guide about OCs for the CHB fandom. 2.) Take it slowly but surely. You don't have to rush the story. Think it out first before typing it down. Then when you're done with the chapter, don't post it right away. Find the flaws, typos and mistakes. Read it out loud, make sure that it sounds natural to a normal reader. This is an optional option (*cough*), but if you want, you can find a beta-reader that can help you out, to save you the trouble. Adventure/Action Coming Soon! Alternate Universe Fanfiction Early Feelings (What If) Early Feelings is part of the "What if" series, written by ExtremeSSJ4. Now we question ourselves: what if Percy told Annabeth his feelings earlier to her? Instead of being a pussy for telling Annabeth how he felt because he was afraid he'll get beaten up and just waited until it was Annabeth who came to him, what if he muster enough courage to say it to her like a man? Writer ExtremeSSJ4 (happily?) lets his imagination go wild and he shares his thoughts with us, the readers. Plotline: The story is cute and fluffy that it'll make you squeal in delight (or shouts of rage, if you're an Anti-Percabeth). It also has humor to keep us well entertained. Though, I did spot a little fandom pet peeves in the writing (check out the Tips lane). Other than that, nothing really apocalyptic. Characters: The characters look fine. At times, they act a little OOC, but not really a problem. So they passed the test. (Test, what test, you ask? Well... you'll have to figure that out for yourselves.) Writing and Construction: The writing is good, though there are some lack of punctuations in the story, but nothing bad. And maybe a little more description/details in the story wouldn't hurt as well. The chapters length are just right: not too long, not too short. Overall: A good read. If you're looking for a fluffy Percabeth story, then you should consider checking this out. Just keep up writing, Extreme! And when is the next chapter coming out? :D Tips: There's nothing really wrong in your writing, though you may or may not check this out. :) Happy writing! Humor/Parody Coming soon! Challenges Coming soon! Waiting List (Picked Randomly) The Son of Rhea (Reviewed!) The Awakening The Fairiomachy Tears of Time (What If) Zarana Gale's Challenges (The Olympian Games) Josh McLean's Challenges (The Olymian Games) The Heroes of Organization: Wrath of Darkness Early Feelings (What If) (Reviewed!) The Son of Neptune (ExtremeSSJ4) The Protogenoi Saga (Reading. :3) Category:Blog posts